The Maddening Tale of a Boy and Girl
“Mom, we’re gonna be late!” I yelled up at her, getting impatient.
She ran down the stairs twisting her hair back, wearing mom jeans, a baggy team sweater, and cowgirl boots.
“What are you wearing?” I asked, always feeling self conscious when I had to give her fashion advice.
She made a pouting face “I’m trying to mimic the other mothers. They all turn their noses up at me when I dress normaly. Are you his nanny?” she said in a mocking tone.
I prepared my speech “They’re just envious of your youth.”
“You mean you were sixteen when you had him!” She continued.
I tried again “They’re intimidated by you and lack self confidence.”
“My oh my how…modern of you, and where is your husband?”
“Come on mom,” I pushed.
“Dramatic Gasp! Unmarried! Well well well. Good for you, an….independent mother.” - she scoffed - “And you know that all their words of encouragement are backhanded remarks hidden in their complements. Are you his nanny? Translation, so you must be the help. You were sixteen? Translation, you’re not that smart are you? Oh oh and my favorite, how modern! Why don’t you just say you’re a pathetic woman who will die alone!” She was on a role.
“And even if you were trying to fit in, your eh…interesting, but bedazzled boots might stand out” I tried to comfort her.
She smiled at me in a mocking way.
“What?” I asked, curious as to the look she was giving me.
She dropped to her knees “I have succeeded as a mother! My boy has embraced the bedazzeler! I always wanted a girl, now I’m one step closer!”
The blood rushed to my cheeks “We’re gonna be late”
“Fine, fine, fine. lets go” she said, shaking her head in disappointment.
She grabbed her coffee and ran to the car, I followed eagerly behind. We jumped into the car and started it. As she pulled out her coffee spilled in her lap. “Oh no! No no no no no this can’t happen ahh! Get me a napkin!”
She reached over to my side and started searching. All of a sudden there was a loud thud on the back of the car. The car stopped in a screech. We turned to each other with mortified looks, reaching an understanding of what was happening. She pushed her door open and ran to the back. I followed. A girl laid flat on her back, eyes wide open with a cut clear across her cheek.
“Is she dead?” I asked stupidly.
“Is she dead?” She repeated bitterly. “Don’t even joke about that”
She leaned over the girl.
“Honey are you okay?” She asked, her voice quivering.
“Lovely actually,” she said with a grin on her face. I couldn’t tell if she was being sarcastic or not.
“As you can see I have just been hit. I see it as a sign. If it weren’t for that I wouldn’t have been able to see the sky. Isn’t it just a lovely sky today? I never really get to just see the sky like I am now.” She said this all in a calm voice. Her eyes were huge, the kind that always looked surprised, just stared straight upward, looking glazed over with serenity.
“She must have a concussion, we need to get her to the hospital. Where are your parents?” Mom asked.
“Here and there or there and here, which ever you prefer, their presence is adjustable,” she nodded to her self as if agreeing to her answer.
“Oh my god, what have I done, she’s delirious or something. Do you have a number I can call for you? Your parents cell, home phone, anything?” Mom asked, still in panic mode.
“The lines dead. Well that is my mom’s at least. When you die your phone dies too, so I guess you need to mourn two things. The death of a person AND their phone. Its really very inconsiderate of us not to pay some respect to the device that served that person for a time.” She was serious for a moment and then burst into hysterical laughter.
“Wait your moms dead? Okay hon, you’re really screwed up. A doctor needs to see you, we’ll call your parents later.” She reached out to the girl and pulled her up. She walked like she was drunk.
“What’s your name?” My mom asked, trying to make small talk on the way to the car
“Lola, L-O-L-A lola, lalalala lola! Like the song!” She belted.
“Hmm ok, mines Alice” Mom responded.
“Like in wonderland! I’m named after a transvestite you know? The song!” She laughed again.
I couldn’t help but stand and stare, as I watched in complete shock the crazy girl we had just hit.
……………………………………………
We waited for someone to come for her in the lobby of the hospital. She had only suffered a mild concussion and some bruising. The doctor did seem slightly confused by such an exaggerated case of delirium, but passed it off as shock. My mom stood at the front desk, speaking to the receptionist about insurance and what were the steps they had to take from here with the accident. I sat directly across from Lola, staring at my feet, occasionally making quick glances up at her. She was in another world. Her blue eyes looked endless and empty, her whole face vacant. She hadn’t moved in 10 minutes. At first it was a relief from her incessant talking of absolute nonsense, but I was starting to worry. Finally I got the courage to look straight at her, the fear of her seeing me seemed unrealistic.
She would have been very attractive if she didn’t always have a crazy look in her eyes. She looked about my age, but it was hard to tell. She didn’t look like an average teenage girl. Her body was slender and she had long limbs. Her skin was pale, almost looking translucent with her long red hair as a contrast of color against it. Her cheekbones were extremely angular, reminiscent to a pixie, giving her an edgy but mystical look. She had a unique attraction to her.
“Excuse me?” Someone said in a thick accent, hand waving in front of my face.
“Yea?” I blurted out, startled.
“Were you the one who hit Ms. Lanen?” She asked.
“Oh yea, I’m so sorry about that, we were in a hurry and-”
“It was probably her fault, your fine.”
I was stunned by her reaction. She was so cold.
“Are you her dead mother?”
She was confused “No I’m the caretaker and we really need to get home now so thank you for your time.”
She walked over to Lola and stared down at her, mumbling fast in a different language, Dutch or German. Then she yanked her up and pulled her out of the lobby.
“You can’t leave yet! We have to go over a few things for your daughter!” The receptionist called after them, but they were gone.
……………………………………………
It had been a month since the accident, and nothing had happened. No lawyers had been called, no medical bills, nothing. At first we were relieved, but it was all a bit suspicious. Our lives continued on as normal, and yet they hadn’t. I was having nightmares. She was in my head. I created situations where the care taker was really an evil dragon, and she was the princess in her tower waiting for me the knight. But I could never save her. I never got the message that she needed help. The whole time the dream focused on her struggles, and I did nothing about it. I’d wake up in sweat, my feeling of anxiety for the princess never going away.
Saturday, July 10 I sat at the table eating breakfast. Mom was out at work. The door bell rang. I felt strange, like it might be her waiting for me, like she was sending me a signal. I opened the door excitedly and -
“Oh” I was so confused.
A frog sat at the door step. It looked up at me, bug eyes going in two different directions. I knelt down to look at him. Then I reached out and picked him up. I examined the creature that had randomly found his way here, and came to the conclusion that this must be a prank. I shook my head and started to put him down.
“Hey!” Her voice said excitedly.
“Ahh!” The frog went flying.
She was hanging upside down, on top of the cover of the balcony.
“His name is Steve.” She nodded, handing him back to me. Still upside down.
“Get down from there!” I yelled, too shocked to be happy to see her.
She eased herself down and landed on the hedge, and stayed there.
“Comfy?” I asked, not sure what to say.
“Not at all, why would I be? Or should I be?”
“You don’t have to be” I said.
“Well I’m not. And you’re my host so you should make that priority. Honestly you’re not doing a very good job at all. Did you know that precisely at this moment there is a twig making such an indent on my butt that it may be permanent?”
I laughed at her and her facial expression turned from concern to frustration.
“Its really very rude of you to laugh at me! I am being very serious about this matter and insist you do a better job.”
And I was back to confused. I put my hand out and pulled her out of the bush. As soon as she was up she shoved me into the bush.
“What’s wrong with you! I’m trying to help!”
She squinted her eyes. “Comfy?” she spat out, then turned around, walked into the house and slammed the door. My first instinct was to get up and walk away. I wasn’t welcome, but then it came to me. It was my house. I was seriously starting to question her stability. I started at the door, but it was locked.
“Let me in” I yelled.
“Are you mad at me?” She said back in a worried voice.
If I were to have any hope of getting back in, I had to lie. “No, but I’d really like to come in.”
The door creaked as she cracked it open. She held out her pinky.
“Swear you won’t hurt me?”
“Swear.”
The door swung open and she was already half way across the room, running into the living room. She plopped onto the couch and patted a seat next to her. I stayed standing across from her.
“You need to leave” I said firmly
She laid down, “I have a proposition”
“No I’m sorry you ne-”
“You’re not rich. I can tell by your house. Not extravagant, but the essentials. Not poor either. Point is you can’t afford a lawsuit. You hit me ya’ know. I could cause a plague on your house” - She stood up on the couch dramatically and pretended she was casting a spell - “With that said, I think we should be friends. Otherwise, I may not have a choice but to put this into legal hands.” - She put her hands on her hips assertively and cocked her head to the side - “Whatcha think?”
“You’re threatening me for friendship?” I clarified, dumbfounded.
She looked at me innocently “…yes” She nodded.
I was speechless.
“You’re full of crap.” I finally said
“Well we all are, aren’t we? If not our digestive systems might shut down and you’d…explode with poop! That would be a silly way to die…” She seriously considered her point to be valid.
Once again I was left with no response.
“Any who, lets get back to the original subject please, the one we were talking about before you mentioned crap, yes? So basically I could sue the pants off of you, and even if I don’t win, you’ll be buried in legal funds too deep for your pockets! So whatcha say to my solution?”
I was outraged. I was frustrated. I was sad, disturbed, confused, stunned, and hopeless. She was completely right. Even though she was only an eccentric teenage girl, the ball was in her court. Plus if my mom found out what could happen she would be devastated. She deserved better. So before I knew it the word slipped out.
“Okay” I said quietly.
Her smile grew impossible lengths. “Thank you! Meet me at the park for lunch at 1:47 sharp!” She squeaked, and then she ran out of the house.
I just sat there replaying what had happened over and over again.
……………………………………………
There was only one park with in a twenty-mile radius of my house, so I assumed I was supposed to go there. As I approached the park at 1:46, trying to be on time, I could see her sitting on a neon green blanket with a spread of food around her. I ran up and joined her. After a couple hours of thought, I had everything I needed to say scripted out, and I was going to say it all.
“What are the conditions to our agreement?” I asked, skipping the greetings.
“Sit down and I’ll tell you.” She patted the seat next to her. I sat.
“I guess you just have to be a good friend. Thats all I want. But I don’t really want to discuss this so we will move on.”
“Wait no, I have a lot more I need to say! Do you realize what you’re doing here is immoral and twisted?”
“BUZZZZZZZZZZ!” She yelled.
“Excuse me?”
“BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ, I said no to this subject so I am rejecting it.” She pressed her finger against an imaginary button and repeated her noise making.
“Okay, Okay I get it! Just please shut up!” I yelled over her.
“Okay, now what do you want to know about me?” She asked.
“Do you even know my name?” I asked.
“Noah Zephier, age fifteen turning sixteen next month, son to Alice Zephier, single mother since 1996 because your father left you at age two for unknown reasons.” - She spoke like it was her own memories she was recalling - “I’m bored of you, lets move on to me!”
I wasn’t even going to bother asking her how she knew. I would never get a straight answer.
“Finish answering the question my mom asked. Where are your parents? And who was the lady who picked you up? What language was she speaking? Could you understand her? How does that apply to you?” The words rushed out.
“I like this game,” she smiled cracked her knuckles, stretched her back and began.
“My name is Lola Ellie Lanen. My pregnant mother died in a car accident when I was seven with me in the backseat to watch her. The car was so mashed up that it took the firefighters longer to get us out of the car. Long enough that I had all the time in the world to watch her slowly and painfully slip away. I think my fathers soul went with them too that day. Well the doctors call it comatose, but he’s really just as good as dead! They say he might wake up in ten or twenty years, but its all a bunch of boloney to me. But he gets to stay in our house. He just needs our German care taker Anika to be with him who’s also incharge of me. She speaks English just fine, but she prefers her native tongue, so I’ve picked up a few things over the years.”
She had curled up into a sitting fetal position and was rocking back and forth, slightly shaking. Then she burst into laughter again, breaking the silence. Even though laughing was an awful response, I didn’t judge her. Her need for our friendship became clear. I was quiet for several minutes as she continued to switch from shaking to laughter. Then I just started talking about anything and everything. At first it was hard to think of subjects, but then I got a flow and I just kept talking. I told her little things, like favorite color. Then I built to my life story. And then I just started confiding in her. Telling her every worry or thought that crossed my mind. The whole time she thoughtfully listened. Adding little comments in between each monologue. Then she told stories. Then I did. And for the first time in years, I felt light and airy and worry-free. By dumping all of my problems on her I became freer. But by letting each other in we were now connected. There was no turning back. Little did I know how much that could affect me.
……………………………………………
I spent almost everyday with Lola, and I never got used to her. When she’d climb through my bedroom window at 8:00 at night just to say hello, I still found it creepy. When I’d come back from a sports game and see her out gardening with my mom waiting for me, I was still a bit curious. My mom loved her though, because she was just as wild. Lola was the daughter she never had. Sometimes she’d come over just to visit Mom. See how Alice was doing she’d say. One of the funniest things about her though was her fascination with old people. We met often at the park, and every time I looked for her, she would be chatting up an old woman walking down the street. Or she would sit on a bench with an old man and get into an hour long conversation. I always had to wait for her. She shooed me if I tried to pull her away from them. Apparently I was not ready for them yet. So finally I just asked.
“What’s up with you and the elderly?” Impatient after waiting for her to help Mrs. Jenkins unload her groceries.
“They are the key to the world” she said simply.
“Excuse me?”
“They’re old because they’ve been here a long time, and they have stories of the past that we cannot imagine! You know Maria over here was born in 1925! Can you believe it? If you look at the shift in eras for her! I mean she has lived through several wars, changes in fashion, the invention of the internet! And now! I mean wow! I can’t wait till I’m 92 and a half!”
I just nodded.
She also liked precise or random numbers. When asked her age she responded with 15 and three-fourths with three months left to go. But what threw me off the most about her were her words. We could discuss anything, and then out of the blue she would make the most crazy debate or statement you’d ever hear. Once she was done she would nod to herself, become serious, pause for a moment and then change subjects.
It had been one of the hottest days in the year, so Mom, Lola, and I went to the beach. Mom read a magazine and sun bathed, and Lola hid in the shade, wearing a sundress down to her feet with a train, a sun hat as big as they get, and big circular shades. She was all about the dramatics. I was trying to persuade one of them to go in the water with me. Mom had completely shut me down, not wanting to ruin her hair, so I asked Lola.
“The sun and my skin aren’t friends.” was her response.
“Sun alway yells down at skin with a persistent heat that skin doesn’t care for. So then skin gets all angry and turns red, red, red! Thats skins way of yelling back at sun. The sun feels bad and sinks away into the sky and it gets all dark.”
“…like night” I tried to fill in.
“Yes! Except no because skin causes it. This used to happen all the time when I lived in the ocean. Eventually we just had to move because the neighbors were atrocious! Stupid sea horses…” she turned to me and nodded. By then I knew I couldn’t react negatively. I pretended like it was normal, and moved on.
Lola wasn’t all fun though. She was an emotional wrecking ball. One wrong reaction and she could snap in anger or sadness. And she was always paranoid that I might hit her. Every time it seemed like I might be angry, she would hide from me, and wouldn’t come out until I pinky swore that I wouldn’t do anything to her. I couldn’t ask her why either, because it was to risky. She might breakdown. When I was with Lola, it was some of the happiest and most miserable times of my life.
……………………………………………
Lola never kept to her self, and for that she had become famous, or shall I say infamous around the town. Her presence both mystified and mortified people. I was a bit frustrated with her though. Our friendship was initially an agreed upon partnership, and I felt like I was being screwed over by my partner. Things at school had started to become strange as word got out that I had befriended the odd girl. It hadn’t been much of a problem until it was brought very clearly to my attention.
“Hey Na-na-na-noah!” a group of girls sang from behind me.
“Hello” I responded, not sure if I knew who they were.
“So I’ve decided, Noah my boy, I’m a wittle bit upset with you!” Said a girl in a baby voice. A girl that would have never acknowledged my existence up until that day.
“I’m sorry why? Who are you anyway? I -”
“Ah ah ah shhhh.” She said, pressing her finger against my lips. “It’s my turn to talk thank you. Now as I was saying, every guy fights for my attention, and yet you’re off with loser girl. Now why is that, hon?” She asked, words full of venom. She grabbed my face with her hand, using her nails as claws to hold on. She shook my head around and then sighed. “I’m very disappointed, Mister. Go think about what you’ve done.” She spat out and then slammed me back into the lockers. The girls in back of her laughed and started to walk away.
Just when I thought my ambush was over with, round two competitors walked up to the plate. This crowd was a lot nicer with their words of course. In fact, when the guy socked me in the face, he was polite enough not to use any words at all. I didn’t stick around to see who it was. I grabbed my bag, held the part of my face that was starting to swell, and marched out the door. I walked for a while, but eventually the pain got to be too much, and I maneuvered home. I knew my mom wouldn’t be there, and was relieved to have the piece and quiet.
Just as I laid down on the couch the door started to open. Lola danced in gracefully, not seeming at all curious as to why I was home. At this point, she was the last person I wanted to see.
“See my face?” I asked angrily.
She nodded, caution clear in her body language.
“You might as well have done it! You know people don’t like you, so of course that must make me bad too. Did you ever think about what a consequence this would have on me? Did you?!” I yelled at her.
I was ready for her rebuttal. For her excuse, something to defend herself with, but nothing came. Instead she walked to the fridge and pulled out a bag of peas, grabbed a glass of water, and took the aspirin from the cabinet. She glided over to me. Lola shoved me over and made a seat for herself. She placed a pillow on her lap and then laid my head back down, then pressed the peas against my now developing black eye.
“Tell me ‘bout your day,” she said calmly.
I felt bad for everything that I had just said, so I gave in and slowly explained what happened. She sat there quietly listening, tracing the claw marks left on my cheek with the tip of her finger as I spoke. I continued on to talk about our whole friendship, and all of its complications. Once I was done, I stayed silent for a period of time. I could hear her making cooing sounds.
“What are you doing?” I asked, feeling a little drowsy.
“Soothing sounds, makes you sleepy.”
“You know, if you’re the only friend I have left, I guess that might be okay.” I mumbled. “Hey could you not tell my mom about this, I just, I want her to hear it from me. Eventually.”
“Sure” she said gently. I don’t remember what happened next. All I know is that I woke up in my bed with Lola gone. I got up and looked in the mirror to see the damage. I was shocked to see no bruising, until I looked down at the note taped around a small circular container.
Foundation will help conceal that baby up after a few coats. Be a man and keep puttin’ on the makeup! Tell her when you’re ready.
I smiled at Lola’s loopy cursive writing and then grabbed a tissue to see how bad it was. As I wiped it across my face a slight sting started to emerge as the bright red and purple spotting was uncovered on half of my face. The thought was nice, but there was no product that could truly hide what had happened. I felt and looked awful, and remember taking one look at myself before crawling back into bed.
……………………………………………
A year had passed, and I had been isolated from everyone at schooling. With Lola as the only one there for me, she no longer was an obligation. It was almost hard for me to be without her. We were inseparable. We became compatible together. I now had this indie crazy person in my life. She taught me that everything deserved my full respect and attention. Especially my mother…and the lamp post. I was starting to even sync up with her strange speech. She was what the world needed. Even though she may have a screw loose, it was the kind that knocked out any sort of filter. Of course there was the fact that she was always brutally honest, but she was also unconditionally loving to the universe. It sounded corny whenever I tried to explain it, but then again there was no real way of explaining her.
The days grew longer when I was at school. It was no longer a safe place for me. It had seemed that I had lost some connection with the world. The physical bullying had subsided, but their ice cold presence felt just as bad. In their eyes I had branded a sign on my forehead as misfit. Lola luckily had refuge from this, and seemed oblivious to the same glares that I was getting directed towards her. She didn’t seem to have school though. She wasn’t home schooled either. It was a mystery to me what she did in the day. Most of the time now she spent with my mom, and the shunning against me made me miss her even more. It was strange how I could almost feel angry jealousy towards Mom.
One day she sat cross-legged on the counter, focused on dicing. Another advantage to Lola was her home cooking. She loved to make all sorts of foods. She had just finished a marathon of food network, and had decided that this week would be Moroccan themed. I sat down on the bench next to her.
“You’re birthday’s coming up.” I brought up casually.
“No it’s not” She fought back.
“Yes it is.” I said clearly
“Is it?” She wondered
“Mmhmm.”
“Are you posativingningly sure?”
“You left a countdown in my room.”
“Oh no, no, no, silly, I just chose a random date that stuck out in my head and then made the countdown. I don’t think there’s enough in the year to look forward to so I made another holiday.”
“And what is that?” I asked, rather amused.
“Kweaster. A mix of Kwanzaa and Easter.” She stated, her eyes wide as she watched for my approval.
“Of course. Its still your birthday though so what are our plans?” I asked, trying to lead up to my own idea.
“Well, I want to start off with a shift at the retirement home. It’s almost my turn to read to them! I have a nice selection from Emily Dickinson to Doctor Seuss. Then I have my annual lunch plans with father. His body and I are going to have a nice picnic. And for the grand finale…you have to plan. Just saying, I like surprise parties” she winked.
“You won’t be surprised.”
“Oh, I’m always surprised.”
“I want to go to your castle.” I said, using her code word for what was really her house.
“Sorry, castle’s closed,” she said quickly.
“Well, that’s not fair. No matter how many times I ward you off, you always welcome yourself into my castle. Isn’t it time for my lady to show the same courtesy?”
She was torn. She couldn’t help herself when I tried using her logic.
“I really don’t know, Ich muss fragen Anika….Anika mag dich nicht”
“Ich verstehe nicht” I had memorized the frase I don’t understand in German, because she switched languages in the middle of sentences so often.
“Alright! The queen formally invites you to her quarters. Be there promptly at 6:59 in a week and a half. Good day sir.” And she walked out of the house, leaving her meal unfinished.
……………………………………………
She wasn’t joking about her castle. It was as big as one. It was a Victorian style mansion with a stable on the side, out in an unusually remote part of town. It was quite intimidating, with a black metal gate at the entrance. It was rusted and old and had spike like tips at its top. Her front yard was like a big meadow, with willow trees all around. Steve was staring at me from the other side of the gate. I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to approach the house. Do I wait at the gate, or ever so boldly go to the door and knock. Finally, I pushed through the gate and marched to the front steps. I picked up steve for luck and knocked three times. A peep whole opened up and I saw an eye pop out to examine me. The sound of latches coming undone filled the air, and the door creaked open. A tired looking maid stared at me with confusion as I stood there with frog and present in hand.
“Yes?” She asked in another foreign accent, not seeming too familiar with the idea of greeting people.
“Um…does a Lola live here?”
She mumbled something unintelligibly, but I could have sworn she had said unfortunately. She started to walk away, and then turned back at me.
“Well? You come in or go out. In or out, sir?” She stared at me, slightly irritated.
I quickly walked through the door. It slammed shut behind me. Their house was like a museum. Art and sculptures everywhere. Directly in the center of the first room was a giant marble stairway that seemed to go up forever. Each room seemed themed. It was old and new, modern and classic, and anything few, far, and in between. I followed her through several doorways into a long white hallway. There was a door at the never ending stretch.
She pointed “In there, thank you,” and walked away speedily.
I walked down the hall feeling very strange. It was like the part in a horror movie when the innocent bystander is about to get slaughtered and he’s walking right into the trap. I opened the door slowly, popping my head in to make sure psycho wasn’t waiting for me. Lola sat on a love seat in the center of a study. An old fashioned desk was in front of her while the rest of the room was surrounded by what seemed to be thousands of books. She was intensely focused on the book in her hand. As she read she smoked from a pipe. She looked like the caterpillar that Alice encountered. I sat down at the seat across from her.
“I didn’t know you smoked,” I said.
“It reminds me of him,” she said quietly.
“Oh.”
“I used to spray her perfume on me too. A squirt everyday, just to have her near. Then one day it ran out. I considered buying more, but it wasn’t the same. She hadn’t touched it, used it, chosen it herself. No, it wasn’t the same. Any who, how are you? Oh I rhymed! I love that!” She said shifting moods so easily.
“Fine, how are you birthday girl?”
“Wonderful,” she smiled.
“Hey can I ask you something?”
“Shoot.”
“What’s wrong with your maid? And where is Anika?”
“What do you mean what’s wrong with her? She’s fine, why would you be so mean?”
“What? No, I just don’t get why she acted so…I don’t know, just bewildered by my presence. And she was so cold I just don’t understand.” I tried to defend myself.
“What are you saying? She’s fine! Everyone is fine! Why are you doing this to me?” She started to tremble.
“Okay calm down, I didn’t think you would take it this way, I’m sorry. Lets just go to the dining room okay? I’m starving.”
“Don’t yell at me! You can’t make me do anything!” - She stood in her chair - “Why do you hate me!”
I tried to reach up and grab her, make sure she didn’t hurt herself.
“Don’t touch me!” She screamed.
“Lola please!” I begged. She’d had breakdowns, but this was even weird for her. She stepped down to the ground, and I took it as a sign of forfeit. I put my hand on her shoulder.
“You gonna be okay?” I asked timidly.
She just stared at me, a deer caught in headlights. Then she slapped me. I felt like I had just been whipped across the face.
“Lola.” I said cautiously.
Her face was appalled. She didn’t know what to do with herself. Then she started screaming at the top of her lungs.
“Who are you? Why are you here? Mama they’re gonna take me! Help!”
All of a sudden Anika and the maid burst through the doors. Lola ran around the room kicking over book piles, slamming down the shelves, running away from them. The maid pinned her down and Anika pulled out a needle. I didn’t know what was happening. Everything moved so quickly. It was to much for me to handle, so I shut down. I don’t know how long I was out for. All I knew was that one of the most important people in my life was no longer herself.
……………………………………………
I woke up in a car that was driving down my street. A man I didn’t know driving pulled into my driveway.
“Mr Zephier? Are you ready?” He asked very formally.
“I need an explanation. I’m loosing my mind back here.” I blurted out.
“So she’s not the only one.” He said sarcastically.
“What? Please sir explain!”
“She had an episode. I’m surprised you of all people haven’t seen her like that. Her memories usually trigger it. You have to know that there’s something wrong with Lola. The way she acts, its not at all suspicious? I remember when she was little, she had the most wonderful imagination. Now it just feeds the fire. I think it was a mixture of that and her depression that did her in. It’s not clear. But she’s no longer capable of staying in our world.”
“What do you mean? Like a dog when you put them to sleep!” I shouted at him.
“No. No. No. Honestly, I just mean that she used to zone in an out between her little world and reality. That sense of truth is slowly escaping her.”
“So what’s gonna happen to her?”
“We think it’s best if she be sent somewhere where she can be handled.”
“Handled? She’s a human being! Do your stupid job and take care of her! I’ll even do it! You obviously don’t care about her!”
“I’ve worked for the Lanen family for years. That girl is like family to all of us, Anika, Svetlana, and I. But she is like a tumor. She has worn us down, and we do not know how to take care of her anymore, and neither do you. If you really loved her like we do, you’d want to send her somewhere better too.”
He was right. All of a sudden I felt empty. I felt like I was betraying her just by agreeing. It was all true though. My eyes started to water, so I quickly got out of the car. I bolted into the house.
“Your back early. How was my Lola’s house? Her family is like the Rockefellers of this town I hear!” Mom said excitedly.
I wasn’t in the position to talk. I ran straight to my room and ignored my mom’s persistent knocking. She eventually stopped trying.
……………………………………………
It had been a few days since I’d seen her. I thought I had been acting normal, putting on my poker face, but it hadn’t been working.
“Sugar pie, honey bear, baby cakes, come here a second,” Mom said playfully patting her lap.
“I’m not in the mood, Alice,” I said harshly.
I immediately felt guilty once I saw the hurt in her eyes. I was like the king of ice today.
“My Lola is gone and now you’re acting differently. I’m worried about you, hon. Something needs to change. You’re the walking dead and I need my boy back. What happened with you two?”
“Lola broke.” I said.
“Huh?”
“She’s broken, and I don’t think she’ll be fixed.”
“Noah, please,” she said tugging on my sleeve.
“She has gone insane mom, she’s gone.”
“I think you are a little too,” she said trying to be funny.
“Why are you laughing!”
“Oh hon you’re not blind. You should have known she was more than eccentric. But we both fell in love with her. We accepted her. What is actually extremely odd is now normal to us. I miss her too though. There is a sort of feeling missing in the room. She just radiated…happiness, and now our source of shine is gone. So you know what? Let’s go, lets visit our dearest. She’s probably fine by now. Come on Noah, you know you want to,” she said eagerly, and I did.
We nodded at each other and then ran to the car, and even though her words of encouragement seemed perfect on the surface, I had a bad feeling that something was wrong. The whole car ride to her house I braced my self for anger and sadness and aggression. Before I knew it we were standing at her door step knocking.
“Hello Mr Zephier. I am not understanding if you may come or not. Anika? The friend is here with lady! Does he come or go?” She asked.
All of a sudden Anika appeared and was staring us down.
“He has to know. Of all people, he needs this.” She finally said after a minute of silence.
“Whats going o-”
She shushed me. “No, no, no speak. You must see for yourself.”
This time she directed us through a completely different path through the house. While my mom staggered behind in awe of the rooms, I quickly brushed by, eager to see her. Finally we hit the backyard. Under a big tree Lola sat on a swinging chair. Before Anika had time to say anything I ran up to her.
“Lola!” I yelled, too excited to even consider my own precautions. Mom sat back and watched from a distance.
“Why hello there! Aren’t you a friendly one! I’ve never been introduced so warmly. I love it!” She said ecstatically.
“Oh don’t play dumb! This is what happens! Except your usually tackling me.”
She smiled at me politely and patted my shoulder “Of course it is.” - She said in a patronizing tone - “May I ask how you knew my name though? Are you one of those psychics? Oh I’ve always envied psychics!”
“What?” I said frozen.
“Or did the caretaker tell you. Her name’s Anika. You know I just learned she’s German. Ain’t that somethin? Oh who’s your friend!” She jumped up and trotted over to Mom. She put her hand out.
“Lovely to meetcha miss.” She said.
Mom stared at her with as much numbness on her face as I had on mine.
“Lola please come in, you need to finish packing!” Anika yelled over to her, knowing that we had had enough.
“Okay! Hey heres something! Apparently I’m moving to this cool new place where there’s gonna be a bunch of people to hang out with me and do stuff for me or somethin! I didn’t get much detail, but it sounds marvelously exciting.”
Thats when I ran, because the pain I had braced myself for had been physical. It was a lower blow then that. At least slapping me was some recognition.
……………………………………………
She had been in the ward for two weeks. That had been two weeks too many for me. I never knew what she was really diagnosed with though. Every time a doctor tried to explain I just tuned out. I was an empty shell, and there was no hope of recovery. Some people said I went mad with her. That we had grown too close. Some say we were secret lovers, and it was all part of our plan. There were many assumptions made on what happened. I guess the letter that I left behind never really explained much. I couldn’t give away anything though.
I had remembered talking to Lola one day about the future. She told me that she needed to travel. I said the world, and she said that that was a ridiculous goal. So I asked her where, and she thought about it for a moment. Lets start somewhere specific she answered. You must take me to Istanbul. I promised. I wasn’t going to go back on that.
So I took all the money I had and bought the two cheapest tickets to Turkey. There was no other plan for survival. Nothing was ready or organized. It was perfect, and as we quickly made our escape from the ward. As we ran she turned to me and said-
“You haven’t visited in a while Noah. How come? I miss Alice. We should go to the beach again!”
That memory was what gave me hope. It came back and forth, but it was still there, and as long as it was, I could stay sane. Well, for the most part. And that was the last day I ever saw my home town again. I like to see it as the happiest day of my life.
